Trial 3: Daycare put her shoes on her and carried her outside to sit and watch the other children. She refused to walk, but was tolerating the shoes being on her feet. I pulled up and they asked "Does she like wearing shoes?" I looked at her feet and saw my baby quiet AND wearing shoes and I couldn't believe it. They reported she screamed when her shoes were put on, but was fine once she was distracted by watching the other children playing. She refused to walk around and play herself, though. I stood about 4 steps away from her and said "Let's go home!" and she slightly whined and ran to me. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but she was no longer hysterical. I kept her shoes on during the car ride home. This triggered something in me: She was missing out on playing because I hadn't gotten her used to walking in shoes yet. So, I had to continue to give her practice.
On a side note: It's funny how behavior change works, isn't it? I am a behavior analyst and saw these issues with her, like this shoe issue, or the vacuum issue in previous posts. However, in both cases I wasn't called to action until daycare had a problem with it too. Because it wasn't effecting other people, I kept putting it off. Sometimes it's really good to have others' feedback to give us that extra reminder we need to do what needs to be done.
Trial 4: When we got home, I took her out of the carseat and held her hand to walk next to me. She was crying because I was making her walk in shoes. Once I started redirecting her to look at the trees, and the balls, and the puppies, she was happily walking/running and laughing with me by her side. I spent 45 minutes or so walking in the grass next to her while she pointed at the flowers and squirrels, and tried to chase a cat. The following day (yesterday) I spent the whole morning with her outside, and the evening after daycare, walking around with her in her shoes, exploring her outdoor world.
Thank Goodness daycare gave me the push I needed to make me realize I needed to get her to tolerate her shoes. She now will walk around while wearing them. She still cries when I initially put them on, but the intensity, which started at 10, is now down to a one. It is very bearable, and if you didn't know shoes were an issue with her, you probably wouldn't notice at all!
The lesson for us all: Hindsight: Make her wear shoes early so she's used to them! But, if it's too late for that now, have her get lots of practice despite her resistance. I'm a little bummed I waited as long as I did. She's a much happier baby to be able to play outside, so keep that in mind through those tears! Be strong!
Colleen
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Shoes can make a baby cry?
Jackie's refusal to wear shoes has been very hard for us these past few months. Whenever we put shoes on her, she would scream bloody murder for extended periods of time. I would drop it and try again a few days later, thinking it was just a phase, but it has lasted over two months.
Whenever she screamed, we would instinctively take the shoes off, thinking they were hurting her. However, more testing and investigation showed that she would even cry when I put mine or daddy's shoes on her (too big to even surround her foot). We couldn't take her outside to walk or play, because she wasn't wearing shoes. So, we were indoors more than I would like. Plus, the weather is now getting beautiful and I knew we had to do something.
Problem Identified: she won't wear shoes and for her safety and her quality of life, she needs to.
Trial 1: Trip to Walmart: We went to Walmart and I put her shoes on. I didn't want to go in public with her because it would be a terrible and stressful trip with a baby screaming through Walmart. But that's where my schedule brought me that day, and I didn't want to put it off. So I put her shoes on her. She screamed and screamed, and I sadly (very sadly) ignored it. I tried to have her walk beside me to the car, but she just wasn't used to the shoes at all. She just cried standing there on the sidewalk, refusing to move her legs with the awkward contraptions on her feet. I picked her up and took her crying to the car. By the time we got to the store, thank goodness, she was no longer crying! I said "Yay, you're so quiet, good girl" and I took her shoes off. I have never seen her smile so big! She was all smiles in the cart throughout the whole store, her white socks kicking and dancing.
Trial 2-one week later: I decided the best way to put her shoes on, was when she was in her high chair. Her vision was blocked because of the tray, so she couldn't see her feet. I would say "put your shoes on" followed by my hands wrapping around her feet. She would laugh and giggle. I did this several times so she felt pressure against her feet, and then unsuspectingly put her shoes on instead of wrapping my hands around. You would think she wouldn't know the difference...
Shrieks ensued.
Stay tuned for Part 2
Colleen
Whenever she screamed, we would instinctively take the shoes off, thinking they were hurting her. However, more testing and investigation showed that she would even cry when I put mine or daddy's shoes on her (too big to even surround her foot). We couldn't take her outside to walk or play, because she wasn't wearing shoes. So, we were indoors more than I would like. Plus, the weather is now getting beautiful and I knew we had to do something.
Problem Identified: she won't wear shoes and for her safety and her quality of life, she needs to.
Trial 1: Trip to Walmart: We went to Walmart and I put her shoes on. I didn't want to go in public with her because it would be a terrible and stressful trip with a baby screaming through Walmart. But that's where my schedule brought me that day, and I didn't want to put it off. So I put her shoes on her. She screamed and screamed, and I sadly (very sadly) ignored it. I tried to have her walk beside me to the car, but she just wasn't used to the shoes at all. She just cried standing there on the sidewalk, refusing to move her legs with the awkward contraptions on her feet. I picked her up and took her crying to the car. By the time we got to the store, thank goodness, she was no longer crying! I said "Yay, you're so quiet, good girl" and I took her shoes off. I have never seen her smile so big! She was all smiles in the cart throughout the whole store, her white socks kicking and dancing.
Trial 2-one week later: I decided the best way to put her shoes on, was when she was in her high chair. Her vision was blocked because of the tray, so she couldn't see her feet. I would say "put your shoes on" followed by my hands wrapping around her feet. She would laugh and giggle. I did this several times so she felt pressure against her feet, and then unsuspectingly put her shoes on instead of wrapping my hands around. You would think she wouldn't know the difference...
Shrieks ensued.
Stay tuned for Part 2
Colleen
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