Revision of previous post!!

Revision/Update of last post: Lowell informed me that when he changed the diaper at 1:30am it was completely dry and he reused that same diaper (the one that was dry when she woke up in the am. So my daughter went the whole entire night dry because she peed on the potty in between!!!) WOWZERS and Hooray!!!

TOILETING OUR INFANT: Bad News, First: Promising News, Last.

Jackie has NOT been doing so well with toileting lately. I know you all must be very disappointed. This decline is partly because we have not been taking her. When we do take her, we don’t keep her on for the three minutes that we used to. During the day, she doesn’t want to sit for long periods of time on the potty now that she’s walking and has better things to do. We have to change the toys constantly to keep her engaged. I feel she gets sick of sitting there before she even has the chance to void. However, I stated in my previous posts that I would be okay with her not voiding in the toilet. I just wanted her to know what the toilet was and be accustomed to trying. The truth is If I say “go to the potty” or “where’s the potty”, she will walk into the bathroom. So, it is part of her life and her vocabulary. That was my original goal. However, daytime data is unfortunately at zero percent for her BM and urination because she just doesn’t want to sit long enough. That is the very sad news of this experiment. She is no longer voiding in the toilet during the day. *Sighs*

Another thing I feel like discussing today is her sleep habits—she is a VERY good sleeper. She goes to bed at 5:30pm and most times I have to wake her at 8:30am because she hasn’t woken up yet. Because she sleeps so much, we have to wake her up now to change her diaper in the middle of the night. She soaks through it if we don’t, because she sleeps so long. So, we have been lifting her up in the middle of the night while she is still asleep, changing her diaper while she sleeps on the diaper table, and then putting her back to bed without her waking. However, I started to think that if she was actually getting toilet trained, she would be woken by her parents to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. The idea being that if she holds it and is given the opportunity to go appropriately, then her bladder would be empty to hold it again and she would be more successful at staying dry. So, I started taking her to the bathroom during her diaper change, rather than trying not to wake her. The good news: At night, she is consistently (90%) urinating on the toilet. She’s too tired to resist it, I think. She is half asleep and compliant! Although she is not going during the day, at least she is making the connection at night.

The most recent occurrence:

Last night, Lowell woke her up at 1:30am to change her wet (revised-it was dry) diaper. She peed in the toilet, put the diaper on, and went to bed. The best news: I woke her up this morning at 8:30am and she had a dry diaper! I mean completely dry! This is very promising. I took her to the toilet and….!!! she didn’t go.

She had a dry diaper so she must have had to go! I didn't put the diaper on her because I didn't want her to go in the diaper before I tried the toilet one more time. I then ran around the house with the un-diapered child to do a preference assessment. I had her find a toy she felt like playing with. Once she picked up the toy, I took it from her and if she complained and/or grabbed it back, I knew she really wanted it and it was a perfect choice! I took her and her preferred item to the toilet and she played for about two minutes. I was starting to get discouraged (because she used to go immediately upon sitting) but then she started urinating in the toilet. She urinated for about 1.5 minutes straight! My baby woke up from a 7 hour sleep with a completely dry diaper and peed in the potty!!! THAT, my friends, is amazing! She is 15 months next Wednesday.

We learned: Mix up the toys, do preference assessments, and if she doesn’t go, wait a minute or two and try again before the diaper goes back on! Otherwise, she will pee in the diaper and a learning opportunity is wasted.

Other promising toileting facts:

When she's not wearing a diaper, she looks down when she’s peeing when standing (meaning she feels it on her leg) AND she cries if she pees on herself. This is another good thing because if she is uncomfortable and does not like the feeling, she will be more likely to avoid that discomfort and use the toilet appropriately! It also means she’s becoming aware of her body which is an important sign for toilet readiness.

Grass Update

Today, Jackie went to her first play date and we played in a giant backyard and playscape. She held my hand when we first entered the grass and then walked downhill in the grass all on her own. We were making an art project so she was on my lap for a little while, but when I put her down, she was gone like the wind. She played follow the leader, and followed the boy all across his yard, completely out of my sight and without turning back at me! She was cruising along and an obvious grass-walking professional. It was very cool to see her so comfortable in something that daycare said only a few days ago that she would not do.

I told the other mothers and it's very true: daycare better not be sitting her on their lap on Monday while the other kids play in the grass!

Run free in the grass, little girl

Now anytime I see grass, I put her in the middle of it and have her walk back to me. We went for a walk at the park and Jackie was a little nervous at first, but she let go of my hand and was off to explore carefully. However, after about 30 minutes of walking in the park, she no longer wanted to follow us. She saw a dog, and started running in the grass in the opposite direction that we were luring to go. Independent as can be, she went a quarter of a football field running in the grass away from us. That is not the action of someone who is afraid of walking in the grass!!!!

A week ago, she never would have let go of my hand or gotten more than a few steps away from me without wandering back!

Freedom is wonderful, isn't Jackie! It's good to not have irrational fears of innocuous grass.

(Now, teaching her not to run to strange men with strange and very large dogs is a whole other issue entirely;))

Grass walking

Thursday: Jackie loooves my cell phone and will go just about anywhere to get hands on it. I used this as my motivator since she rarely gets it, and it reliably motivates her to do anything just so she can have that glowing little screen. My operation' love the grass' started simply enough-I let her play with my cell phone so she was engaged and then took it from her and put her in the middle of a grassy field. I was about twenty baby steps away from her and holding up my cell phone. oops-I dropped it in clear view onto the grass. She hesitantly walked with her eyes fixated on her feet through the uneven grass. She glanced up form time to time just to make sure her prize was still waiting in the grass. Once she got to my cell phone, I picked her up and praised her! I let her play with it for a bit, and then did it all over again. After only three times of putting her in the center of the grass and making her walk towards me/safety, she was no longer looking at her feet when she walked. She only walked briskly to the phone like a grass walking pro.

Then, I dropped the phone from her hand, held her upside down over thephone and told her to pick it up. She LOVES this game. If she drops anything, she will say "UhOh" and then she'll tilt her head as if she's upside down. That means she wants me to help her get it by dipping her upside towards the ground while she giggles and gets whatever she dropped. She loves being dipped and picking up objects. So, I repeat, I dropped the phone and dipped her to get it. She was excited until her hands got closer to the ground and then they went limp. They absolutely retracted into her elbows and went limp. She is such a weirdo. I picked up a whole bunch of grass and had her hold it but her hands and arms went limp again.

What I discovered: It is not the uneven-ness of the grass because she is a new walker-it is the spiky texture of it if she drops something.

As long as I hold her hand when we first get onto the grass, she will take a few steps and then venture on her own. So, if i hear daycare say she doesn't like walking in it, I know it's not true. However, she has yet to fall or drop something without whining and begging someone for help. I must tell you, when she is sitting on the ground, it is very humerous watching her try to stand up from a sitting position without using her hands.

And the green grass grows

Jackie is now afraid of the grass. Daycare reports that she will not walk in it and only wants to be held. If she drops something in the grass, she refuses to pick it up and cries. Every time I visit her daycare, I see all her friends playing while she either sits on a blanket or on the staff's lap. She is missing out on outside play time and I don't like it (yes, she's wearing shoes and STILL missing out)! Despite the fact that I feel daycare should be giving her opportunities to overcome this fear, I do understand that they would rather have a happy, calm baby on their lap then teach a crazy, crying, one to play in the harmless grass.

Operation: Love the grass

ready-set-go.

Shoes can make a baby cry? part 2

Trial 3: Daycare put her shoes on her and carried her outside to sit and watch the other children. She refused to walk, but was tolerating the shoes being on her feet. I pulled up and they asked "Does she like wearing shoes?" I looked at her feet and saw my baby quiet AND wearing shoes and I couldn't believe it. They reported she screamed when her shoes were put on, but was fine once she was distracted by watching the other children playing. She refused to walk around and play herself, though. I stood about 4 steps away from her and said "Let's go home!" and she slightly whined and ran to me. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but she was no longer hysterical. I kept her shoes on during the car ride home. This triggered something in me: She was missing out on playing because I hadn't gotten her used to walking in shoes yet. So, I had to continue to give her practice.

On a side note: It's funny how behavior change works, isn't it? I am a behavior analyst and saw these issues with her, like this shoe issue, or the vacuum issue in previous posts. However, in both cases I wasn't called to action until daycare had a problem with it too. Because it wasn't effecting other people, I kept putting it off. Sometimes it's really good to have others' feedback to give us that extra reminder we need to do what needs to be done.

Trial 4: When we got home, I took her out of the carseat and held her hand to walk next to me. She was crying because I was making her walk in shoes. Once I started redirecting her to look at the trees, and the balls, and the puppies, she was happily walking/running and laughing with me by her side. I spent 45 minutes or so walking in the grass next to her while she pointed at the flowers and squirrels, and tried to chase a cat. The following day (yesterday) I spent the whole morning with her outside, and the evening after daycare, walking around with her in her shoes, exploring her outdoor world.

Thank Goodness daycare gave me the push I needed to make me realize I needed to get her to tolerate her shoes. She now will walk around while wearing them. She still cries when I initially put them on, but the intensity, which started at 10, is now down to a one. It is very bearable, and if you didn't know shoes were an issue with her, you probably wouldn't notice at all!

The lesson for us all: Hindsight: Make her wear shoes early so she's used to them! But, if it's too late for that now, have her get lots of practice despite her resistance. I'm a little bummed I waited as long as I did. She's a much happier baby to be able to play outside, so keep that in mind through those tears! Be strong!


Colleen