Irrational Fear for Infant

Funny Story About a Little Girl and a Fear of Vacuums

Before Christmas I had relatives visit and decided to vacuum while my 8 month old daughter was in her high chair. Usually, I vacuum while she is sleeping or out of the house, but had waited until the last minute and needed to do it in front of her. Big mistake! I have never seen her afraid before! She got all red, cried tears, and was literally shaking. I felt like a terrible mother! I ran to her, picked her up, and hid the vacuum. She was just so afraid of the loud noise, the large equipment, etc.

If I had thought it through, I would have introduced it to her sooner so it would have been part of her daily life and she would have been used to it already. But, live and learn.

A few days later, I went to daycare and they dragged the vacuum across the floor so they could plug it in. She panicked again! She was shaking and screaming and scared to death. Well, this was alarming to me. Not only was it frightening for her the first time when it was on, but I had scarred her to the point where she saw one about to be plugged in and was still scared. So, the behavior analyst in me wanted to end this irrational fear. Seeing a vacuum cleaner does not need to elicit such panic in an infant. I went home and started vacuum desensitization training! The vacuum became part of the family from then on. The vacuum came out from hiding in the closet, and stayed out in the living room. She ate with it near her, played with it near her, we rolled her dolls around on it like a ride, and it even opened presents with us at the Christmas tree.

At first, she freaked out. But, the more she saw it as an inanimate object in the room and not as a terrorizing machine, she was fine. It only took a day before she was approaching it herself to investigate it further. Daycare reports that they not only have the vacuum off in front of her, but turn it on to clean as well and she no longer cries or needs to be held, etc. She does still have a fight or flight kind of look on her face, as if she's trying to determine if it's a danger to her, but she is no longer terrified. I just made her realize it is as innocuous as a pillow on the couch or one of her toys, and she is adjusting well.

So, a lesson learned and a crisis averted for now. Plus, the vacuum joining us for gift opening by the Christmas tree was priceless.

Sleeping Through The Night

Our daughter sleeps through the night and she has been since she was 6 weeks old (she was sleeping 5 consecutive hours a night at 2 weeks). I credit it to advice from our pediatrician: to NEVER let our daughter fall asleep in our arms. Our pediatrician explained that babies need to learn to fall asleep on their back in order to sleep through the night. Babies wake up in the middle of the night naturally, and need to be familiar with being on their back so they can drift right back to sleep. If a baby is accustomed to falling asleep in a person's arms, when they wake up in the middle of the night in their crib on their back they will not know what to do. They will need to be held to drift off asleep again because that's how they learned to sleep.

Behaviorally, this made perfect sense, so we took what she the doctor to heart. We just wanted to give our daughter independence as a baby so her bedtime routine wouldn't be a problem for her (or us) in the future. Every night, we put her to bed on her back while she was sleepy, and let her put herself to sleep. That way, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she is on her back and it is familiar to her so she knows what to do to drift off again. We never let her learn to be dependent on us for bedtime. Boy does it work! Everyone compliments us on how well she sleeps, and I truly feel this is the major factor in her success. It is so wonderful as a mom to be able to put the baby down to bed and not have to rock or hold her for an hour, etc. I am especially glad I do not have to have that feeling of quiet caution after letting a baby fall asleep on my shoulder and trying to put her in the crib without her waking up. Giving her independent sleep habits young makes my life so much easier.

When and if I am blessed with another child, I will follow this strategy again and make her as independent as possible early on, so she sleeps through the night without needing us to rock her back to sleep.

Colleen W

Waking a Sleeping Baby

My instinct as a behavior analyst is to meet a child's needs before a problem behavior occurs. Once I became a parent, I was always aware of habits that might shape into the kinds of problems that I am hired to resolve when a baby is older. When it came to feedings or in general, I wanted to avoid the possibility of her crying just to get my attention. It felt natural for me to wake her up when I knew she needed to eat, rather than waiting for her to cry. The idea being if she cried and I brought her food, she would learn crying is a communication for me to come in and/or feed her. So, whenever possible, I would wake her up before she realized she was hungry, so I could avoid shaping up that behavior. The pediatrician told me to feed her every two hours at first, so I would wake her every 2 hours, regardless of whether she was sleeping. Yes, I know a new mother needs sleep and it is a common rule to never wake a sleeping baby. However, I felt this built a trusting relationship with my daughter that she never wanted for anything and I anticipated her needs. She currently sleeps through the night (13 consecutive hours), and I still do the same thing. If I put her to bed at 6pm, I will set my alarm for 7 and wake her up. Sometimes she may already be awake and smiling, waiting for me to get her. Or on days when I just need my sleep and decide to not set my alarm, I still wake up to hear her simply talking to herself. But I was lucky enough to never shape that behavior of crying to communicate. She rarely cries to eat or wake up. The last time she did was a few weeks ago, when she had an ear infection, and we knew something had to be wrong because it was so out of character and routine for her. Overall, I am very fortunate that I went with my gut and tried my best to avoid shaping that behavior.

Colleen Williams

Introduction and Welcome!

Welcome to my parenting blog!

I am a behavior analyst, working in the field of applied behavior analysis since 2006. My husband and I have been married for five years and recently had our first child. She is a beautiful and energetic 9 month old girl!

I am writing this blog to share my stories and strategies about parenthood. As a behavior analyst, I feel I have a unique perspective on parenting as my career is based upon reinforcing and shaping behavior to create more independent members of society. From stranger anxiety to toileting to feedings to sleeping through the night, I have used my knowledge and applied behavior analysis techniques to successfully shape my daughter's habits to improve both her life and ours.

Please stay tuned for stories and strategies. I want to share my parenting stories over the next years so others might benefit from things that have worked (and haven't worked) with us while raising her.

Colleen